When we look at people, we have to realise that in one and the same situation, people act and react completely differently. Many of you put this together with the character structure of people.
Character:
How we react emotionally and how we act in times of crisis, be it job loss or serious illness, depends on our character.
Modern neuroscience assumes that our neural architecture determines what we feel and who we are. These imprints happen in infancy.
important information is transported to the brain via nerve cells. Every striking experience changes the synaptic circuits in the neuronal structure. And these synaptic circuits then influence how we behave the next time.
New experiences lead to a further expansion of the networks, and switching points that are no longer needed are dismantled again.
Humans can therefore permanently build on their neural architecture through experience and learning.
Basic trust:
What does character have to do with basic trust?
Each of us needs a place of refuge, a place where we feel safe, secure, loved and welcome. If we look at neuroscience, this longing comes from the mammalian brain, i.e. the limbic system.
Ideally, we found this place in our own parental home. And people then internalise this feeling of security, trust and love as a basic positive attitude to life that we retain as adults because of our learned routine. We have self-confidence and can also trust other people.
When a baby is born, it has few needs at that time, but it recognises whether these few needs are perceived or not.
A strong sense of basic trust can develop from this realisation.
The baby feels accepted and loved. This positive feeling develops additionally through frequent physical contact and through intensive loving occupation with the child.
The basic trust is formed in the first years of life. Based on neuroscience, we know that our brain structures are formed in the first 6 years of life and that these deep, subconscious programmes are also imprinted here.
Humans form their basis for a healthy self-confidence and a happy and healthy life already in babyhood, due to the trust, in relation to themselves and the experiences with their parents, that life and people are good.
Strong basic trust means:
Confidence in myself:
- Self-esteem, ability to love
- I am worth being loved
- I feel secure
Trust in others
- Partnership, community
- I trust you
- I know I am understood and accepted
Trust in the whole
- World
- It is worth living
A strong basic trust forms the basis for:
- confidence in oneself
- confidence in one's own abilities
- confidence in the development of self-esteem
- confidence in the development of the ability to love
- Confidence in bonding with others
- Confidence in love relationships
- Confidence in friendships
- Confidence in life itself, that life is basically "good"
We know, however, that this ideal of a parent-child relationship rarely functions optimally. First of all, it should be noted that these so-called negative imprints can partly be of a subjective nature and do not necessarily have to be the fault of the parents, but we also know situations such as:
- The parents are afraid of spoiling the child too much
- overburdening of the parents in their normal everyday life
- Lack of basic trust on the part of the parents themselves
If there is a development of too little basic trust, this lack of security and stability often accompanies the person throughout his or her life.
Especially in special stages of life, such as starting school, maturing into an adult. For the person affected, even leading an independent life can be a greater burden.
Possible issues of impaired basic trust are:
- Lack of self-confidence - low confidence in certain situations
- Limited contact with other people - Inner insecurity
- Lack of confidence in one's surroundings - little trust in people
- Negative handling of crises - little positive attitude to life
- Anxiety - mistrust - aggressiveness
- Little trust in others - little trust in the community
- Lack of self-esteem - Attachment problems
- Difficult partnership - relationship - love relationship
- Etc.
The experience of insecurity or rejection then shows itself in everyday life, the basic trust of these people is not pronounced, they have problems with self-esteem, they doubt again and again, no matter whether towards their life partner, superiors or fellow human beings.
They do not really love themselves, feel many insecurities and often find themselves in permanent relationship problems.
The Inner Child - Beliefs
When we speak of the inner child in modern psychology, we are talking about a part of the personality that is to be understood as the sum of all childhood imprints - positive as well as negative.
In Siegmund Freud's 3 psychic instances (id, ego, superego), the inner child is equivalent to the instance "id".
Siegmund Freud and his 3 psychic instances:
- It=Inner Child - Shadow Child / Sun Child
- I=Inner Adult=Conscious Thinking Instance
- superMe=Inner Critic=Moral Instance within us
These experiences and imprints are fixed in the subconscious, i.e. as a rule we cannot even remember harmful inner programmes, but they work in the subconscious and wait to be called up. These fears and needs, as well as all positive imprints, are stored in the subconscious, but the negative imprints cause most difficulties for adults.
Our unconscious part of the soul tries everything to avoid having to suffer the offenses and injuries. At the same time, however, it strives for security and recognition. All these fears and longings operate in the subconscious. On the conscious level, we are adults who seem to shape life. But on the subconscious level, our inner child massively influences our perception, feeling, thinking and acting. Even much more strongly than our mind.
Our subconscious (brain stem and limbic system) is a very powerful instance that controls 80 to 90 percent of our experience and actions. In our limbic system, all our emotional experiences that we make in the course of our lives are stored. Regardless of whether we can consciously recall them later or not, they are stored there.
When we have a strong emotional experience, it can activate neuronal structures in our limbic system. Thus, a current experience can, but does not have to, only trigger other, old experiences, which then reinforce each other.
If, for example, the neuronal activity for the feeling of "fear" becomes very strong, the neurons from the limbic system fire upwards, into the cortex. This is the area where all our knowledge is stored and where our problem-solving ability is located by linking relevant information.
Since deeper brain structures (limbic system, brain stem) always have "right of way" to ensure survival, strong emotional reactions can partially paralyse our brain surface for a short time. These are those moments when good coaxing, even with rational facts, is no longer helpful because emotion, for example fear, has the upper hand.
Have you ever tried to help a passenger with a fear of flying by explaining that flying is the safest means of transport? These rational arguments didn't work because the passenger's cortex was completely inoperable. Deeper brain structures were signalling the highest danger to him. The cortex was therefore inoperable and no longer accessible on a rational level.